Dark Past| BDSM, Sci-Fi/Futuristic | The Teran Series, Book 2
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Once, Julianna had hoped for a wonderful life married to the man genetically compatible and the love of her life. But betrayal, civil war and death intervened and she was forced to let the man she loved go to save the people on Teran Four. Ten years is a long time and now, she is the dictator’s lover and the Voice of Davida, a genetically enhanced tool of the reigning powers.
He’d escaped the brutal prison of Teran Four, but Bud Masterson is back to find family he’d thought was dead, murdered by the dictator who destroyed his life. It’a a trap and Bud finds himself at the mercy of the woman he’d once loved who betrayed him.
But nothing on Teran Four is what it seems and Julianna and Bud will discover that everything they know about their past and their future is an illusion. To save their people, and possible humanity itself, Julianna and Bud will have to find the truth that lies in their dark past.
Excerpt
She chewed on her lip, then took a deep breath. No sense in telling him anything other than the truth. “Davida wants a child. He’s forced me to see a different doctor, one I can’t pay off. This doctor will know the truth—that I’m on birth control.”
Bud’s lids drooped and his face was unreadable. “So?”
“So he’ll kill me, you fool. And I have to find out where the vials are. I haven’t been fucking that monster for three years to fail now because I’m squeamish about having his child.”
“And of course you’re sure my sperm will work.”
“We’re genetically compatible. I’m made to have—” Her voice broke. “To have your child.” She couldn’t cry. Not now. Even ten years later, the pain seemed fresh. Her baby. Her little child, deformed and dying the minute Davida wanted him dead. With Bud here, the pain she’d been so adept at hiding rose to the surface despite her best efforts.
Bud snorted. “You could choose a thousand other donors.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re the safest choice.” The only choice. If she was totally honest with herself, she knew she wanted Bud’s child, as if somehow it would heal the grief over the one she’d lost. Foolish.
“Why would I let you, of all people, have my child?” His voice was filled with contempt. “You never told me about our first child. Why would I let you have another shot?”
“I tried to tell you,” she protested. “But you—”
He didn’t let her finish. “Everyone has told me that you’re part of the rebellion. You’ve fooled them. But not me. I know what I know.”
“What do you know?” she snapped. “You blamed me without a trial, without evidence. You assumed that what they told you was the truth? I wanted to tell you about our baby. But you were so busy hating me, you never gave me the chance.” She twisted her lips. “Oh I’m sure you would have dragged me off Teran Four if you’d known I was pregnant. That’s all I’m good for, right? How are you any different than him?” It was the wrong thing to say. She realized it the minute the words left her mouth.
No one else might see that Bud had snapped, that he was immersed in rage, but she knew. The hard angles of his cheeks, the way his neck corded, revealed he was about to lose it. She actually made a bolt for the door and he grabbed her arm, slamming her back against the wall.
“Maybe I’m not, Julianna,” he said harshly.
She struggled, jamming her heel into his instep. “Let me go,” she said in a low tone.
“No.” He gripped her wrists with his hands and held them above her head and moved closer.
Emotion overwhelmed Julianna. For years she’d cherished the memory of their time together, yet there was part of her that wanted this rough treatment. She yearned to belong to him in her soul and he was going to shatter it—shatter her. “Please, Brad, I’m begging you.” The words tumbled free and involuntary tears squeezed out from her eyes.
“I’m not Brad anymore, Julianna.” He pressed against her. “I’m Bud Masterson, criminal, mercenary, sexual Dominant. I like it when you beg.”
“Please don’t destroy what I have left. All I have is the memory of what we had,” she whispered.
He laughed harshly. “Sweet love on fragrant roses? I don’t think so, my dear. I’ve had ten years to think about this moment and I’m going to enjoy it. My way.” He smiled, but it was a predatory grin, devoid of any emotion but lust. “Besides, you need my sperm. Maybe I’ll give it to you.”
She shook her head frantically, denying silently what he planned. Her heart tore into pieces. It shouldn’t be this way. Why had she come here? She knew he hated her and if he had the chance, he would tear her apart. Wasn’t it his right? It was her fault Davida had come after his family. If she’d been stronger, she wouldn’t have bowed to pressure and let Davida think she would be with him. But she’d been weak, terrified of opposing him, and Bud’s family had paid the price. Davida saw Bud and his family as a threat, but it was the dictator’s obsession with her that caused their destruction and the death of their child.
What difference did it make if Bud bruised her, hurt her in some travesty of what they’d once had? She deserved it. Every single pain, every strike.
And she couldn’t deny the arousal that swamped her at the thought. It was part of her now, this desire for pain with pleasure. That Bud had become the kind of man she longed for had to be fate. How much more potent would her release be if her heart and her body were in concert? He was the only man she had ever loved and now he was a Dominant who wanted to give her everything she needed.
Her lips trembled, but she opened her eyes and met his angry gaze. As she took a deep, shuddering breath, she relaxed and stopped struggling. “All right,” she said quietly.
His eyes darkened, a sign of his reaction to her capitulation. “I see some things haven’t changed. You’re still no fighter.”
She lashed out, her knee almost reaching her intended goal to incapacitate him, but he twisted away and she slammed into his hipbone. When she glared at him he only continued to watch her. “You don’t know me.”
There was a stillness to him that made her stop trying to get away. Finally, he leaned closer. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t. That won’t change my mind.” His nostrils flared. “I don’t hurt women unless they want me to, but you want me to, don’t you, Julianna? You’ll enjoy it when I make you pay.”
“I haven’t paid enough?” she asked harshly. “I watched our son die, not you. I stayed to fight, not you. You can’t fuck that away.” Now that she’d gone this far, she wasn’t going to back down. “But by all means, try. Try to obliterate it with your dick.”
His lips twisted in a parody of a smile. “You knew where I was. You could have found me, told me the truth. If it is the truth.”
She gritted her teeth. “You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you in the ass.” Everything in her wanted to walk away, stop this. But she couldn’t prevent her body’s reaction to his as he pressed her against the wall, his warmth seeping into her skin. After years of Davida’s harsh treatment, she longed for this, for something based in unadulterated lust.
“Maybe not,” he said, all trace of humor gone from his face. “But I know you’re aroused, that you want me.” His gaze shifted to her throat where her pulse pounded wildly. “Call it tit for tat,” he said casually. “You get your sperm and I get my revenge.”
Revenge. She closed her eyes and the hurt washed through her. Once, he’d loved her, touched her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. That was gone. Had she really thought this idea of being pregnant by him through? Was there some sick part of her that wanted an excuse, any excuse, to be here in his power? The shameful truth was she wanted him, would always want him.
When she opened her eyes and met his implacable stare, she took a deep breath. “I have no choice, do I?”
It could have been her imagination, but he seemed to wince, though the expression passed quickly, replaced by a stern, dark look. “You always have a choice. Go ahead and lie to yourself.” He shifted his hips and she had to bite her lip to silence a groan. He felt so good, so right.
“What do you want from me?” she whispered.
“What I always want from a woman. Submission.”